INTJ Responses For Those Difficult Times

We’ve all been there. Standing in the corner, staring at everyone. Watching all the…the…EMOTIONS. Thinking to ourselves,

“How did I end up here? Of course I know how, but – what now? Quick! I have to seem human!”

Our brains work differently so it is sometimes difficult for us to align with the emotional responses of those around us. It is not personal. Well, not to us.

If the INFJ is the warmest robot, the INTJ is the coldest human. Lies! We SEEM cold, but we DO have feelings. We just don’t really care about other people’s feelings. Only if those people are in our innermost circle. Then possibly. Maybe. Depends.

We must also endure bouts of loathsome small talk. What do we say? No one cares! Blah blah blah! Where is the nearest escape route? We need the words to make the small talk work while we silently make our grocery list and plan weeks in advance.

Funerals, weddings, over-excited sporting events or even just the casual situation where we must console another homosapien who unexpectedly bursts into some sort of emotional state…these can be awkward times for the INTJ. We must blend in with the fellow human beings so we constantly hone our camouflage techniques.

Fear not fellow unicorns. I have devised a list (you know how much we love lists!) of never-fail responses so you can now plan (you know how much we love plans!) to go forth into life prepared.  Behold, a list of pre-fabricated responses to enable your dialogue in the most mundane and human of situations. (*User is solely responsible for adding emotion or tonal inflection to the following words)


When someone is upset:

  • “You are not alone.”
  • “I hear you and I understand.”
  • “You’re doing the best you can.”
  • “I hope everything will be OK.”
  • You are not alone.

When you are trapped in small talk:

  • “That is important.”
  • “I see.”
  • “That is a valid point.”
  • “If that is what you wanted then I believe you have achieved your goal.”
  • “So it is.”
  • Wow.”
  • Interesting.”

When you need to end the conversation: (no you may not just walk away mid-sentence)

  • “It has been lovely speaking with you, but I must go…”
  • “Nice to see you. Have a good day/evening”
  • “Thank you for your time. See you later.”
  • I am needed elsewhere…”
  • On that note…”
  • (act like you see someone. Hold up your finger.) “Can you excuse me for just a moment?”

When someone is crazy excited about something dumb:

  • “That sounds great.”
  • What a difference!”
  • “Amazing.”
  • “Wow.”
  • Congratulations.”
  • You go!”
  • “You will be great.”

When someone forces you to look at photos of their baby/kids/Christmas wreath/whatever:

  • “Look at that.”
  • Yes. That is a ______.
  • “I can tell you are proud.”
  • “Nice.”
  • “Wow.”
  • “That is a tiny baby.”
  • “I see.”







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